


Forget Me Not...

by Hot_Damn_its_Kam



Series: Hamilton One Shots Literally No One Asked For [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex Forgets John's Birthday, Alex is berry sorry, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Crying, M/M, dialogue prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:21:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29147364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hot_Damn_its_Kam/pseuds/Hot_Damn_its_Kam
Summary: Dialogue Prompt: "I thought you were dead."TW: Arguments, Language, mentions of anxiety, mentions of deathMini-Summary: John makes plans, Alex forgets, things are said. Feels. Angst.ft. forgetful Alex Hamilton and Emotional John Laurens
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: Hamilton One Shots Literally No One Asked For [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139402
Kudos: 10





	Forget Me Not...

"It's 10:30."

Alex jumped at the sound of his long-time boyfriend's voice as he entered the apartment. The lights were off, so he'd expected John to be in bed at least, maybe asleep.

"Uh, yes. Yes it is." Alex said, setting his bag on the kitchen table and flipping on the dimmable kitchen light.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Something in John's tone made Alex's heart do flips, there was sadness in his voice. Pure brokenness. What had Alex forgotten this time?

"Editorial meeting ran crazy late, Jefferson and Adams wanted to do a piece on feminism, but I told them they should leave it to Angie or Dolly to write and it turned into this big thing. Anyway, my phone was off. Why?" He reaches into his pocket and powers his phone back on.

**Missed Call (9) from Baby Bear ❤️**

**From: Baby Bear ❤️**

**6:15 PM >**Reservations at 6:45, are you on your way home?

**6:27 PM >**Hey, I haven't heard from you. Assuming your phone is off bc ur at a meeting. Meet me at the restaurant?

**6:41 PM >**Running late???

**7:32 PM >**Where tf are you?? I look like an idiot.

**7:19 PM >**You haven't read any of my messages, so I assume you're busy. I'm going home.

**8:04 PM >**Why didn't you show up?

**8:31 PM >**I'm starting to worry! Call me when u can.

**8:45 PM >**Seriously

**8:56 PM >**Please at least tell me you're ok

** >**I called G. W. Said you left a while ago. Where are you???

It all started to click. The dinner. The looks and comments from George. Today was... fuck. John's birthday.

"Jack I-"

"Don't." Alex saw John's face clearly for the first time since that morning. He'd clearly been crying. His face was red and splotchy. There were traces of what looked like maybe black mascara (that had since been wiped, but not very well) on his face. John only wore makeup when he was feeling particularly confident or excited. "Just don't..."

So he didn't. One of the few moments Alexander knew better than to make an excuse. He sat down at the table next to John. Reached for his hand, which he snatched away, "Don't touch me."

"I'm so... so sorry. Baby, I promise, I hadn't forgotten. I'd told George last week and again this morning. I'd set an alarm on my phone, but then I forgot about the alarm and turned my phone off for the meeting. You know how I get-"

"That's always your excuse!" John shouted, " 'Ohh... you know how I get'. Yeah I do, Alex. I know that your mind is a constant flurry of ideas and responsibilities and stuff. I know that you forget. A lot. And I love you because of and despite your many flaws, but it's like you don't even make an effort sometimes! You use your forgetfulness as a crutch. And I'm tired of it. This was really important to me Alex! You told me you were going to take the day off, but when you ended up having to go in to work, I was understanding. I knew that it was out of your control, so I wasn't mad. I made an effort. I got dressed, and did up my face, and made the reservation myself for my own birthday dinner. I sat in the restaurant for over forty-five minutes by **myself** looking like some chump who got stood up. You know how bad my social anxiety is. It was humiliating. I had to pay for the time and table I wasted, and walk out of there alone. I had to drive home alone. And I sat here. Alone. Waiting for you. I thought something had happened to you. I thought you were hurt. Alex, for a minute there I thought you were dead!"

Punch after punch after punch in the gut. That's what it felt like. John was sobbing now, shaking. And Alex had nothing to say, "Baby..."

"Alex. I thought you were dead. I was scared. I thought you would never mess something like that up, I thought something happened to you. I sat here and sobbed for hours because I was so. Afraid."

"Baby." Alex repeated, "I can't believe I did this to you..."

"Me neither. I thought you loved me!"

He pulled John into his arms, and this time he didn't fight back. But he didn't reciprocate. Just let himself be held and cry.

"I'm so sorry. I do love you..."

"Alex, do you even understand how frightened you made me?!"

"I don't think I can."

"No, you can't, because you dance about life without a care in the world. Until you hurt someone. But then it's too late. You're too late."

"There has to be something I can do..." Alex mumbled into John's hair, crying himself now.

"I don't think there is..."

Alex pulled back, "What are you saying?"

John sighed, "Don't worry, I'm not... dumping you," The smallest piece of relief, "But I think I'm gonna stay somewhere else for a few days. Get my head on right."

Alex chewed his lip, "If... If that's what you need, I won't stop you, but I really wish you wouldn't. I want us to talk about this."

John sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, "We will. I just... I need to not be here. I need to clear my head."

Alex gulped, "How about... I help you find a friend's house or a hotel to stay at for tonight, and we... get together tomorrow, and we go from there?"

John nodded, "I... yeah. That sounds best."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"You want me to call Herc, or..."

"Um, I don't really want to unload all this on anyone right now. Let's find a hotel."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"How very 'Fault in our Stars'." Alex joked, hoping to lighten the mood, if only a little.

John smiled. Is was pinched and soft and pained, but it was real and it was there. Things were going to be okay. Right now, they weren't, but they would be.

They would be.

And that's all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> Nom Nom Comments PLZ


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